I am in a funk. Someone close to me is going through an extremely difficult, horrible situation and I just feel helpless.

I also feel like it makes me question my own relationships and actions. I am conflicted and torn. I know that one cannot completely control the direction that their life takes, especially when you embark on a journey with someone else. One person cannot control the actions of the other. But what if one's actions affect the direction of the other person's life? Is that fair? I should be beyond assessing things as fair and unfair. Is there something that one can do to ensure their path in life? Are the bad things that happen to you in life supposed to happen with some greater good as the outcome or can you avoid pitfalls by making better decisions? I guess this is why many people look to religion for answers - there are so many unanswered questions in life. I imagine it provides some sort of comfort to believe in some greater power. That way the (entire) responsibility doesn't fall on you for what happens in life. "It was God's will." I think that's a bunch of bullshit. It terrifies me to realize how easy it is for one person to affect another in a devastating way without any intention of doing it by acting selfishly, recklessly, or thoughtlessly.

I heard my own words come out of my sweet, innocent cousin's mouth today and it is cutting me to my core.

I know this entry makes no sense to anyone. Please allow me to rant and ramble aimlessly.