Last night I went to the OAMP (Oregon Association of Mortgage Professionals) conference. This is an annual event held at the Jantzen Beach Red Lion that involves classes, workshops, and ultimately drunkenness and debauchery. I have heard legendary tales of this event, but in the eight years that I have been in the industry, I have never attended until this year. Lenders (that solicit our business) rent hospitality suites and offer drinks and entertainment, so the hotel is basically a raging party from one end to the other the entire evening. Cristie had a room and we were planning on crashing there for the night. Most of our Cosmopolitan crew was there early, but Michelle and I didn't head up until just before 7pm. For some reason traffic was awful and it took us an hour and a half to get from my house to Jantzen Beach. Ugg. Needless to say our cohorts had a bit of a head start on us. We walked in at 8:15pm stone cold sober and we were racing around as we didn't want to miss Michael's band, Ronster, that was playing in Hyperion's hospitality room. We walked in late, just as they were starting to break down their equipment. We ran into a rep (who will remain unnamed) who was wearing Cristie's panties on her face and making quite a show of sniffing them. Apparently we had missed quite a show...in addition to the band. We heard reports of people jumping up on stage and singing with the band, girls making out, etc. Not too mention (I didn't ponder until later), how in the hell did Cristie get those undies off while she was onstage in the first place? Let me tell you, the things that drunks do don't make as much sense when you are obeserving through sober eyes. This was the point when I was pretty sure that all of the stories that I had previously heard about this conference must be true and that I needed a drink immediately.

We had a great time gambling with the fake money we were given, playing blackjack, dancing, and having cocktails. After the conference festivities, we headed to the hotel bar to continue in the self-destruction process. We hung out and danced and had a great time. It's nice to spend a little down time with some of the people that we work with on a daily basis and not talk shop.

We were hanging out with some of our favorite lenders including Dan from Lime Financial, a great guy who many like to call "Clooney" for obvious reasons. The girls and I consider him the "holy grail" of men. He has been happily married forever, is a great dad, is drop-dead gorgeous, and is just an all-around great guy. We were just sitting around talking when we found out that Cristie had only one bed in her room and the plan was for Kruse and I to bunk with her. Dan in all his chivalry said, "I'm going home. I have a room that I'm not using if you guys want it." He gave me the key. Great! We were set. After we closed down the bar, we went up to Cristie's room and had a 2:30 am snack from Burger King (we were completely crushed that Taco Bell was closed - is that even right that Taco Bell should close before the bars??) and got in our jammies. Mine was kind of a strappy purple number (Deb knows what I'm talking about). I should have learned from her sexy nightie hotel blog entry, but no, I had to learn my own lesson on this one.

I decided that I would go down to Dan's room to sleep since it seemed silly for the three of us to crawl into one bed needlessly. I stealthily left the room and headed down 2 floors to his room. I got in and locked the door with the privacy latch and extra lock. There were 2 beds in the room. I started to crawl into one of the beds and then I noticed that there were some things in the room - a suitcase and some personal belongings. It was 3 am. No one was there. I called up to Cristie's room to discuss this development. Why I didn't leave at that moment shall forever remain a mystery. We decided that if someone showed up, they couldn't get in anyway and that if they did, I would just head back upstairs. I turned off the light and got comfortable. It couldn't have been 10 minutes later, when I heard the sound of the key in the door, but no door opening. Maybe it was for the room next door, I thought. Then a soft knock. Shit! I would have to get up and evacuate. I had never met this person, and I'm sure he wasn't expecting anyone would be in his room. Here I was in my strappy purple nightie, being forced to get up and answer the door.

"Hi," I said. "Ummmm, my friend Dan gave me his room key, cuz he said he wasn't using his room. I didn't realize that anyone else was staying here. I'm just going to head back upstairs to stay with my friends..." I'm sure this guy was shocked to find this scantily clad chick answering HIS hotel room door. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Now I feel bad." That was funny, he was feeling bad that I was getting kicked out of his hotel room. "No, I'm fine," I said. "My friends are upstairs, we'll be fine. Good night." I made a hasty exit. I bookfooted it upstairs and crawled into bed with Michelle and Cristie.

I guess the three of us sleeping in one bed wasn't such a bad idea after all.